Palate Cleanser: The Pet Rock returns with an Attitude

by Skip

Pet RockBack in 1975, one of the stupidest fads swept the US and made its “inventor” (marketeer?) a millionaire.  That was the “Pet Rock” and he sold millions (yes, MILLIONS) of these inanimate objects as pets – at $3.95 a whack.  It came, made a buzz about rocks, and then disappeared as quickly as it showed up on the scene.

Well, just like Hollywood’s issue of running out of any kind of original idea (really, bringing back The Karate Kid as a TV series 30 years later??), so has the Pet Rock.  Except now, with all things being “Tactical” (or “tacticool” as some deriders rightly hold), so has the Pet Rock – but now dressed in black:

the XR5 Tactical Assault Rock.

Yep, somebody decided to go there:

XR5 Tactical Assault Rock

  • Low-speed, high-drag weapon with whisper quiet trajectory (assuming the user doesn’t grunt during acceleration). Automatically adjusts to Ultimate Stealth Mode™ at sunset.
  • Sleek black finish for minimum atmospheric resistance. Variable speed and range. Sizes and shapes vary. Each unit is easily calibrated to user capability.
  • Fully assembled. No batteries required. Legal (for now) in 42 states.
  • Comes with Certificate of Authenticity, operating instructions, Operator License, and FREE upgrade to XR5B with LT2™ Laser Tracking Technology. (Still in beta testing.)

Such a deal at $19.95!  Buy two and get free shipping!

Hey, what – no box?  Not even a small MOLLE ammo pouch or a shrunken ammo can customized for its dimensions?  Hey, how come no up-sell launching device (commonly called a slingshot) with a red dot sight?

 

(H/T: Instapundit)

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  • William Wallace: [after Hamish drops a boulder at Wallace’s feet] You dropped your rock.
    Hamish: Test of manhood.
    William Wallace: You win.
    Hamish: Call it a test of soldiery then. The English won’t let us train with weapons, so we train with stones.

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