United Airlines - really, HANDCUFF threat? - Granite Grok

United Airlines – really, HANDCUFF threat?

“They said they’d put me in cuffs if they had to.”

“I asked if he’ll ever fly United again….Fearns could only laugh. “Are you kidding?””

UAL logoYep, another “United beats its customers” story. I’m quite sure that we’ll be hearing about these stories for a while of paying passengers being hauled off jets for no fault of their own. Look, I know that “stuff happens” and in this case, a late “change of equipment” (i.e., swapping out of a plane, usually from a larger to a smaller one) caused this episode.  I’ve been on segments where because of this, formerly first class passengers went BESERK simply because the First Class cabin lost a good chunk of its seats and they had to sit in economy.  That said, no one was ever hauled off the plane (reformatted, emphasis mine):

Fearns, 59, is president of TriPacific Capital Advisors, an Irvine investment firm that handles more than half a billion dollars in real estate holdings on behalf of public pension funds. He had to fly to Hawaii last week for a business conference. Fearns needed to return early so he paid about $1,000 for a full-fare, first-class ticket to Los Angeles. He boarded the aircraft at Lihue Airport on the island of Kauai, took his seat and enjoyed a complimentary glass of orange juice while awaiting takeoff.

Then, as Fearns tells it, a United employee rushed onto the aircraft and informed him that he had to get off the plane. “I asked why,” he told me. “They said the flight was overfull.”

And then the lie came out.

Fearns, like the doctor at the center of that viral video from Sunday night, held his ground. He was already on the plane, already seated. He shouldn’t have to disembark. “That’s when they told me they needed the seat for somebody more important who came at the last minute,” Fearns said. “They said they have a priority list and this other person was higher on the list than me.”

…Suddenly it had more first-class passengers than it knew what to do with. So it turned to its “How to Screw Over Customers” handbook and determined that the one in higher standing — more miles flown, presumably — gets the seat and the other first-class passenger, even though he’s also a member of the frequent-flier program, gets the boot. “I understand you might bump people because a flight is full,” Fearns said. “But they didn’t say anything at the gate. I was already in the seat. And now they were telling me I had no choice. They said they’d put me in cuffs if they had to.

Boy, times have changed.  No, I was never a member of the highest rung of fliers in United’s FF program – close, but no cigar. That said, given my status, they treated me REAL well – upgraded when possible, special treatment on the plane, and if things went south and a flight was canceled, I have to say that they moved their buns to make it right.  As in putting me in a limo to go to another airport (MHT to BOS, ORH to Midway) to get on someone else’s plane.  Then again, I was an anomaly for fliers – I often had to grab a bag and go on short notice so my employers’ customers ended up paying close to full boat and I was in big demand at the time.  That’s called PROFIT and real frequent fliers, the top 1-3% of all fliers, make up a big chunk of that profit.  These are the real customers that the airlines covet as they fly, fly often, and fly dollars.

There is a hierarchy, though – in trying to get upgraded, even if I was turning in miles, I either had to turn in “bonus certificates” or miles.  If there were others that were higher up the totem pole though, they got the seat before me even as they didn’t have to turn in as many miles for that seat.  Again, the profit – they had to be flying a LOT more than I was to have earned that privilege.

So what.  Life isn’t fair so get used to it.  NOBODY ‘owes” you anything” and you aren’t entitled to anything more than what you have earned on your own.  But, this guy had earned and gave UAL a bunch of greenbacks. And sometimes, even with that overarching principle, people and organizations go stupid.

It shouldn’t make any difference where a passenger is seated or how much he or she paid for their ticket. But you have to admire the sheer chutzpah of United putting the arm on a full-fare, first-class traveler. If there’s anybody whose business you want to safeguard and cultivate, it’s that person. So how could United possibly make things worse? Not to worry. This is the airline that knows how to add insult to injury.

A United employee, responding to Fearns’ complaint that he shouldn’t have to miss the flight, compromised by downgrading him to economy class and placing him in the middle seat between a married couple who were in the midst of a nasty fight and refused to be seated next to each other. “They argued the whole way back,” Fearns recalled. “Nearly six hours. It was a lot of fun.”

“Compromise”?  They threatened to haul him off in handcuffs  with NO alternatives to riding in the back (there’s no mention of a rebooking on either another UAL or competitor flight) so WHY didn’t they just say “go to the back of the bus” instead of “get OFF!”?  And then UAL decide to really double down on idiocy and stupidity:

Fearns requested a full refund for his flight from Kauai and asked for United to make a $25,000 donation to the charity of his choice. This is how rich guys do it. He received an email back from a United “corporate customer care specialist” apologizing that Fearns apparently had an unpleasant experience. But, no, forget about a refund.

Really?  So he plunked down a FC price for a bickering economy seat?  But to say no refund, at least at first?  Sheer Stupid.

Instead, the service rep offered to refund Fearns the difference between his first-class ticket and an economy ticket — about a week later, as if that wasn’t the first thing they should do in a situation like this — and to give him a $500 credit for a future trip on the airline.

“Despite the negative experience, we hope to have your continued support,” the rep concluded. “Your business is especially important to us and we’ll do our utmost to make your future contacts with United satisfactory in every respect.”

No, like in the recent Dr. Dao episode, this ISN’T their utmost.  I’ve experienced MUCH better than this so I know it can be done.  Sure, the industry as been severely commoditized to the point of banality (and never let ANYONE tell you that biz travel is fun, especially now (which is why I stopped traveling)).  Which leads to:

Julia Underwood, a business professor at Azusa Pacific University, said United’s actions in both the dragged-off-the-plane episode and with Fearns reflect a coldhearted mindset utterly devoid of compassion for customers. Fearns said three different members of the crew on his middle-seat, economy-class return to L.A. apologized for how he was treated in Hawaii. But they said they were unable to do anything.

You’re just a number.  Unless you are “of means”, get over it.  However, it looks like Fearns is so the phrase “lawyer up” is in play.

I asked if he’ll ever fly United again.

Fearns could only laugh. “Are you kidding?”

And that will be revenue that UAL will never see again.  And THIS is the point and great value of Capitalism.

  • UAL voluntarily promised a First Class experience (at their price)
  • Fearns voluntarily paid that price
  • UAL screwed him over – they LIED to him.  They didn’t fulfill their agreement in their transaction
  • Off to court for a remedy.
  • And Fearns will now incentivize, with his dollars, to get another company to offer him better value.

(H/T: LA Times)

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