A father tells his newborn daugher about a vanishing virtue: Honor - Granite Grok

A father tells his newborn daugher about a vanishing virtue: Honor

But some men displayed honor until the moment of their death.”

HonorAs we have written before, the Left has been waging war on ALL traditional values that America used to stand for over decades.  Frankly, we are now reaping that sullen tornado now in Society.  However, there are still some of us that are bitter clingers to virtues that used to stand for something, that used to spur us on to be better, that acted as rulers against which we could use as standards of behavior, that once were considered to be absolute values (whether or not we actually achieved them or not – they were there to be reached for).

Benjamin Slade over at Medium has written a touching letter to his young daughter caught my eye – someone that has learned the truth and strength of Honor and trying to guide her towards it (emphasis mine).  I’m leaving out the first part of it but take a gander at it if you would and read about honor:

A Letter to My Daughter About Young Men

…So instead I will tell you about young men and honor.

…I wish I could tell you that your father was an honorable man when he was younger, but he was not. He ran with the pack and even became their leader at times. Hunting at night like a rabid wolf or an insatiable vampire. Feeding on those he deemed weak or easy prey. There were even the strong ones he simply viewed as a challenge, and like every vampire trick in the book, I was charming until I left you half dead and drained.

There is a certain swagger young men carry when they’re insecure. Perhaps it’s why we hunt women sometimes. My swagger disappeared in the wars. Some men will piss themselves. Others cry for their mothers. I begged and begged not to be sent to the front lines.

I will not lie, Adi. Men died, and I was afraid. But some men displayed honor until the moment of their death.

An entire platoon refused to shoot a little girl carrying ammunition to the enemy each day. That decision would cost some their lives. Other men would brave bullets and death to save an injured friend. One held the hand of a fellow soldier and told him over and over it “would be okay ” until he passed. It didn’t matter he was still being shot at. Some would share their meals with poor farmers.

After the war, I saw honor in different ways from other men who were not in the military. One evening, a group of us sat in a local pub nursing a beer, when one of the men began bragging about the sexual exploits of a friend who was getting away with infidelity. The jeering was reaching a crescendo when a voice boomed over the laughter.

“What a sad excuse for a husband.”

The laughter died, and the men stared blankly into their beers for a long moment, refusing to look at the man who had defied them, while he glared, daring them to challenge him.

I do not know what the future of dating will look like for you many years from now or how men will treat you. And I know now, as much as I’d like to, I cannot protect you from all the landmines and jackals running rampant. You will have to learn to face them on your own.

But I can tell you what to look for. Look for honor.

Look for integrity, selflessness, sacrifice, and compassion. Find those who champion justice and fidelity. But above all, seek men who emulate humility and meekness. Do not, as so many others do, be deceived into thinking it is a weakness. Meekness is strength wrapped in humility, my dear daughter. It is strength under control in a world where so many are out of control.

Do not confuse velvet words and simply holding a door open as honor. Instead, observe how he treats others, your waiter, the homeless, and the marginalized. For if you see how he treats those at their highs and lows, you’ll understand how he will treat you during your high and low points. Heed this wisdom and do not become disillusioned, for honorable men will still break your heart. A dishonorable man will break up with you via text, SnapChat (if that still exists), or simply ignore you. But an honorable man will break your heart face-to-face.

Do not despair, my daughter, for as you read this, you may be tempted to believe that honorable men disappeared in the years before you were born. They still exist. You must search to find them, and that may take many years. In your search, though, you will encounter many men without honor. Do not blame them. For they had fathers who didn’t know how to train their sons in the ways in which a man should walk. Many grew up without a male figure to explain what honor and integrity look like. Feel compassion for them, instead. Point them to other men you see acting in honorable ways….

All my love,
Dad

I never had a daughter but I had two boys (now men) to whom God said “You are their model – don’t screw it up”.  Yet, I was one of those men that Slade tells his daughter that never had a Dad to model honorable behavior for me as he was quite part-time when I was young and then died before I hit my teens.  I tried my best to teach what I was not taught – in some ways I missed and in others I can say “wow, they were listening, they were watching”.  And in both cases, they will express only what they want regardless of how I tried (and yes, failed) at times.

Well done, Mr. Slade, well done.

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