Representative David Campbell’s Own Duck Dynasty

by Rick Olson

“Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.” —Confucius

Duck Parade

“I am deeply sorry that I accidentally ran over several wild ducks near the Crowne Plaza last Monday night…”

David Campbell-duck-Murderer“Wild ducks?” how does he know they were “wild ducks?” And if they were wild, what kind of wild ducks. Were they Mallards, Wood Ducks? Pintails? Just how does he know? If they were not wild ducks but domestic ducks, that reduces Campbell to that of the rank and file juvenile who destroys property of others. i.e. livestock.

For as long as I can remember, it is common knowledge that waterfowl have congregated in that area. We are talking in excess of twenty years.

How does one not see a bunch of ducks obstructing the roadway?If it were shards of broken glass he would have noticed that. Its not cheap to replace BMW tires.  And how does Campbell with his offices located at the 20 Trafalgar Square location for more than fourteen years, not be aware of these ducks?

So what about this mowing down of ducks with a BMW? Well, first and foremost, The legal means of taking ducks is a shotgun capable of holding no more than three shells, (and the shot must be non-lead) unless plugged with a one-piece filler, incapable of removal without disassembling the gun, so its total capacity does not exceed three shells.  Ducks may not be taken by means of a motor vehicle. A BMW is not a legal means to achieve ones’ own personal Duck Dynasty.

Ducks are not in season for Nashua. The season for ducks was October 2 to November 3, and November 19 to December 15 for inland areas and October 4 to January 5, 2014 for the Coastal Zone. Nashua “ain’t” in the Coastal Zone. So the ducks were taken out of season.

Daily bag limits for Mallards, (assuming they were Mallards and not domestics) is four ducks, two of which may be hens. Wood ducks, three and Pintails two. But I question whether or not Campbell can even tell the difference between a Mallard from a domestic duck such as an Abacot Ranger, a Rouen, a Silver Bantam or a domestic Pekin (the AFLAC) Duck.

Campbell most likely didn’t have the appropriate required Migratory Waterfowl License and a current N.H. Hunting, Combination or Small Game License. Then there is the Harvest Information Program number (HIP).

David Graham in writing for the ever-so-liberal Atlantic defends Campbell where he writes,

As a year of public frustration with political leaders comes to an end, maybe Campbell deserves praise. This is a chance to pat a legislator on the back for doing the responsible thing, even when it wasn’t popular—just the sort of profile in courage John F. Kennedy lauded.

So Campbell gets a pat on the back for culling the flock. Exactly what hunters do. But hunters cannot count Campbell amongst the ranks as most are “consumptive hunters.”

But the outraged talking animal crowd does not get a pass…no, no, no. Countless publications and public service announcements warn against, “we the people,” feeding wild animals. Crackers, bread crumbs and other such ubiquitous fodder is not appropriate dietary fare for waterfowl. There is a reason they are called, “Migratory” waterfowl. Human contact feeding only serves to disrupt those patterns and increase the mortality of the birds.

Yet, we carp and complain about Fish & Game funding, when we only exacerbate their workload by creating more and more nuisance animals for them with which to deal. Campbell is correct when he says they didn’t belong on the roadway and the talking animal crowd has nobody but themselves to blame. Anthropomorphism is a mental disease that finds its roots in Walt Disney.

But this is not really about Campbell mowing the ducks down as much as it is about the overall callous and cavalier attitude of David Campbell. The Arrogance; The smarmyness of it all. I don’t really care whether or not he did it on purpose. Personally, I think he drove through those ducks with malice and intent.

Only a liberal democrat like Campbell would give a superficial apology as would the talking animal crowd gather the pitchfork and torches over some ducks this idiot mowed down. Hunters have an ethos that is demanded in the taking of wild game and waterfowl. We’ll never get the anti-hunting crowd to accept that, but what Campbell did was gratutitous and a display of wanton disregard for another living thing. This is the ethos representing the people of Nashua.

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  • balencesto

    BRILLIANT!!!! Rick, you have managed to reinvent this story and help us all view it through a different lens. I’ve been thinking about the possibility of comparing/contrasting this incident with NH F&G’s current funding/PR woes and you Sir have done just that – brilliantly! This is one of your best columns ever!

  • Steve

    it is great but you have emphasize the sting of left wing hypocrisy which deals in the currency of talking animals or you are letting the bastards off the hook. Not Campbell, but the Democrat party noise-makers who would beat the media bushes to turn this into another political victory.

    • Rick Olson

      Honestly, I thought with the mention of the talking animal crowd, the “currency” of talking animals was well-played. While everyone is so outraged, it is the LIBERAL talking animal crowd that contributed substantially to these ducks being run over. Wild animals need no help from humans for food and despite the massive PR campaign by conservation organizations people still feed. They know this and do it anyway because its NOT about the need for animals to eat, as it is for the Liberal friends of animals to commune with animals. People feed Turkeys, Coyotes, Foxes and when people like come along and shoot them, they attack us.

  • balencesto

    I wonder how long before Barbara Bonsignore pens a letter to the editor in the Monitor condemning Campbell for his wanton slaughter of waterfowl. Oh yeah . . . silly me . . . what was I thinking!

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