Blogline of the Day - Virginia Postrell on committment - Granite Grok

Blogline of the Day – Virginia Postrell on committment

Marriage is increasingly the big sociological divide in American life. Getting and staying married makes you part of a privileged elite.”

Who knew that you were an elitist by eschewing mere shacking up?  Yet, three things can basically keep one out of poverty – get your diploma, get a job, and get married before kids.  For all of the hoopla over the “new” trendy of single unmarried girls with kids and that they shouldn’t be shamed, I saw the misery these gals lived while running our daycare.  Dependent on the state for child care, food, medical needs, transportation (and for the very few that took advantage of it, meaningful education other than LGBT / womyns studies); I watched the veritable circus of badness rotate through the lobby – the smiley faces followed by dour looks as the latest “beau” flips into their lives and their beds followed by withdrawnness (and sometimes, bruises). 

What was the worst to watch was the effect on “Julia’s” kids (as Obama’s campaign elevated singleness onto another Doric column – nary a mention of a husband in that narrative).  I came out of a broken family so I saw myself in those kids’ faces – “where’s Daddy?” and the EXTREME separation anxiety from Mom (given that the latest “Dad” had already left in the middle of the night) when she went to drop them off in our lobby.  I bought a lot of tissues to have on hand for the teachers and inconsolable kids during those years.  I also saw the behavior problems that the rotating “significant others” had on the kids and the lack of stability in their lives.

Thanks to Progressives, however, the Government’s policies make it clear that when one is in need (and thus, poverty), no husband need apply – or is even wanted.  And as it pursues this “good for America” policy, the Progressive ideologues complain more and more bitterly that more and more must be taken away from the elitists to give to “the most vulnerable” – and nary a thought that perhaps it is their policies creating those vulnerable (or for the more cynical amongst us “Job well done – we’ve finally eliminated the need for husbands and fathers.  Government has succeeded in being the all-in-all for everyone!”).  Thus, what used to be normal, married Mom & Dad and kids, is now seen as elitist. Sigh…..

Yes, being married is much more than love (and lust, truth be told).  In fact, if someone were to tell me that Love was the most important thing in a marriage, I’d fall on the floor laughing at their naivete.  Love is nice and necessary, but hardly the most important emotion, from what I have discovered in 32 years of marriage.  Marriage for me has depended on two things: the ability to keep a promise even in the worst of time

With all that said, and switching back to what we see how the Government is changing the pop culture (among other forces), you still wonder why a lot of us keep thinking that this country is on the absolute wrong course?  Are we transitioning from an Aspirational Society to one content to take form others (a Spoils Society) as the Welfare State grows and draws more social capital away from productive activity?

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