Humor: Compare and Contrast - cats vs dogs - Granite Grok

Humor: Compare and Contrast – cats vs dogs

I just need a laugh – this worked:

“Why some single women prefer cats to a boyfriend!”

#1.  Cats don’t leaver the toilet seat up.
#2.  Cats don’t leave whiskers in the sink.
#3.  Cats don’t need to shave in order to look good laying about.
#4.  Cats provide soothing moral support without needing to offer advice.
#5.  Cats never neglect their grooming, nor comment on yours.
#6.  Cats never hog the covers or snore.
#7.  Cats never borrow your pantyhose to go snowmobiling.

On the other hand:

“Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife”

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s’ name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor, especially food.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
9. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
10. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
11. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad, they just think it’s interesting.
12. A dog never asks you an impossible question, such as: “Does this flea collar make me look fat?
13. Dogs love it when you drive with their window open.
14. Dogs think it’s perfectly normal to check out the butts of passing females on the street.

And last but not least:

15. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

To test this theory: ?Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.

Then open it and discover who’s happy to see you.

(H/T: Mac)