The Liberty Tree? Sorry. That’s not compliant.

Liberty Tree

Our friend Paul at PunSalad was the first to make us aware of government regulations contained within the Waxman/Markey cap and trade bill (that our Congresscritters didn’t bother to read) dictating rules fror planting a tree. That’s right… PLANTING A TREE! Writes Paul:

[C]heck out Section 205, a Federal program to emit grants for tree-planting to electric companies. As long as such trees are planted according to…

a comprehensive list of science-based measurements outlining the species and minimum distance required between trees planted pursuant to this section, in addition to the minimum required distance to be maintained between such trees and (A) building foundations (B) air conditioning units; (C) driveways and walkways; (D) property fences; (E) preexisting utility infrastructure; (F) septic systems; (G) swimming pools; and (H) other infrastructure as deemed appropriate.

… because we’re just too damn dumb to figure this out ourselves, apparently. As Joyce Kilmer noted:

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree planted under Section 205
which Waxman-Markey did contrive.

A tree of species specified;
Which will at mininum distance abide.

A tree that will, in decades hence,
Not destroy my neighbor’s fence.

Upon whose bosom federal grants
Have enhanced its noble stance.

Only God can make a tree?
Not according to Waxman-Markey!

Mr McQ has more substantive comments.

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mer

Doug, it actually doesn’t sound as bad as it is. How do I know? My wife is a degreed landscape architect from Rutgers, has been working in the business for over 20 years, doing design work, digging the holes and running crews. A major part of her schooling and on the job training dealt with “how big does this plant grow, what do the roots do, how tall?” so for a professional, the items listed above are common knowledge or can be looked up easily. Distances from “infrastructure” is often already driven by local building codes (if you are doing major work the town may want you to actually get permits and file plans), so the only thing onerous about this is “it’s coming down from the Federal Government”.
I haven’t read the bill (I figure if Congresscritters can’t be bothered prior to a vote, why should I? ) but if it’s paying Electric companies to plant trees, that is just a waste of money. They should just give half the allocated money to me and let me play Johnny Appleseed across the country. I bet I’d wind up with a bunch leftover.
http://www.granitegrok.com doug

You’re right, Mer– I don’t disagree that there is a right place or wrong from well-thought and developed practical practices. It’s the government intrusion. If I hired your wife to plant me a tree, she would no-doubt advise as to the right location. That would be the “value-added” to our free market transaction. I’ll bet if I purchase a tree at Lowe’s or someplace, it contains instructions for proper locating and planting… I have an even better idea than giving YOU the money– how about they simply let people keep THEIR money & spend as they see fit. THAT’S how we fix a broken economy.
mer

Yep, the plants at a Lowes and a Home Depot usually have the planting instructions and plant characteristics on a tag or stick in the pot. Of course, it’s pretty much hit or miss on the quality of them: you catch them on the day they arrive and you get a good deal, too much later and the plants show the lack of care. Actually my wife would charge you $50/hour to come up with a planting plan
So, you actually believe that it’s “your money” and not “the governments”? Kidding, I do too. If we could only smack some sense into the knuckleheads running the state (to start with) and cut the budget. I blame all the Massholes that have moved up here and started whining about having to do everything for themselves.
Any word on the $110 million JUA and other monies that Lynch tried to appropriate for the budget that the court has so far said “wait a second buddy”? I’ve been keeping my eyes open but haven’t come across anything yet.