Big Bro knows where you are (or, at least he will soon). NOT your grandfather's Census... - Granite Grok

Big Bro knows where you are (or, at least he will soon). NOT your grandfather’s Census…

Big Bro

The last time they did the census, I decided that I only owed them the answer to how many people live in my house. Unfortunately, that was the same year we were picked for the census "long form" asking a variety of questions that in my mind went far beyond the Constitutional requirements. Long story short… after chasing them away four times, census workers got smart and waited until I left and finally scared my wife enough into answering their questions. Arrgh. (It’s hard to take a stand like that and strike a blow for freedom when the wife decides you won’t.) Well, some nine years later, I’m over it. Or, at least I thought I was, And then, along comes this notice, delivered to the Selectmen here in town:

census letter

It says, in part:

Dear Partner:

Between April and July of 2009, US Census employees will be visiting every housing unit in every neighborhood of your community. In order to conduct the 2010 Decennial Census, the Census Bureau must know the address and physical location of each place where people live or stay.

So far, nothing too bad, right? Of COURSE they will go to places and count. But then, there’s this:

Our Census employees will wear official identification and carry hand-held computers to capture physical addresses and their GPS coordinates.

WHAT!? What for? What WON’T the government know about all of us once this happens? Why don’t they take fingerprints and DNA samples while they’re at it, too? I can just imagine the 2020 Census letter going something like this:

Dear Attention Subjects,

The Census Bureau of the United Soviet &  Socialist States of Amerika, in order to more accurately count each Subject and their precise wherabouts at all times, will be deploying teams of Census troopers to implant homing devices in the left arms of all found at a given GPS location. If numbers of Subjects found at such coordinates do not match the data from Census 2010 figures, violators will have 10 5 2 minutes to provide proof and contact information of said missing Subjects. All Subjects in violation will be shot on sight.

So ordered,

M. Mond 
Alpha Double-Plus
Resident World Controller

 

Surprised

 

How about it, all you so-called privacy zealots? You were all uptight when the Bush Administration started hunting for terrorists using the Patriot Act. Where’s the outrage over this?

>