Think Satire from our friend Warner Todd Huston over at his site, Publius’ Forum:
Accountants Seek Bailout
…Milton Nebish, president of the B.A.N.A.L., the recently combined accountants unions the Bureau of Accountancy and the National Accountants League, is urging Congress to pass SB069, the so called Accountant’s Relief bill, when Congress gets back in session this year.
…Accountancy expert Robert “Freesummerwind” Rosenstein, professor of numerology and digit integration for the university of California at Berkeley, appeared before Congress as an expert witness late last year. “Accountants don’t need much,” he told Senators at a preliminary hearing of the subcommittee for numbers and graphs. “It would not take more than two or three billion dollars to correct this situation. But something better happen before it’s too late,” he said.
…The B.A.N.A.L. has suggested that Congress establish a fund that all CPA’s and certified accountants can access. From that fund, accountants across the country can get recompense for “magic finger massage units,” green eye shades, really neat calculators in popular cartoon character shapes, subscriptions to trade magazines like “Numbers Week,” and “AddIt” or tickets to Deepak Chopra’s newest self-help seminar “You Count.” B.A.N.A.L. is also asking for 8 weeks paid vacation every year for every certified accountant in the country.
…Senator Charles Schumer (D, NY) said yesterday that Accountants are having tough times out there and that Congress should not make accountants suffer in this economy. “Bush obviously hates accountants like he hates puppies and babies,” Schumer said at the Capitol on Friday. “If he had a heart he’d push for this much needed reform,” Schumer said to the knowing looks from reporters.
…Republicans wondered where all this money was going to come from and demanded the Democrats find a way to fully fund this plan. But reporters called them Nazis and ignored them as usual.
Take a click over and read it in context….ha!
