Friday Humor: Shingles; **VIRUS WARNING!**
It's been a long week. We're having sub-zero temps and little to no snow here in Central NH, thanks not to man-made global warming, but the natural cycle of things. Yeah, that's right. I said it. The air's cleaner now than it was fifty years ago. Soot? Carbon? Talk to the Russians and the ChiComs. Leave me and my SUV alone! That said, here's some lighthearted humor to calm all you environ-mental type persons that might not like my "attitude" this morning. Sorry, I just want to go about a hundred miles an hour on my fabulous TWO-STROKE snowmobile, after which, life will be good (as long as Fish & Game don't catch me)...
Bubba had Shingles
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!
Doesn't it seem that more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?.
Here's what happened to Bubba:.Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat..Fifteen minutes later a nurse 's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had..Bubba said, Shingles. So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room..A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, Shingles. So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor..An hour later the doctor came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, shingles. The doctor asked, Where?.Bubba said, "Outside on the truck. Where do you want them??"
Oh, and while I have your attention, as a public service, I reprint this virus warning-- let's work together and stop this latest attack on our technology freedoms!
Warning:
.If you receive an email entitled " Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it . Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank..
IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk!.*** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***! And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you. Send this warning to everyone!!! ! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And look at you - you're on the computer!!!!
(H/T Bob J. & Dean D.)
Comments
Posted by: Julie | February 13, 2008 12:47 AM